El Chapulín Colorado - R.I.P. Chespirito

Here's a tribute to the greatest Mexican superhero of all time, El Chapulín Colorado (before you say El Santo, he didn't have any super powers and El Chapulín did... well... sorta.  He self medicated on "chiquitolina" pills, which made him shrink to the size of a grasshopper and... I think that's about it). This character was part of a Mexican television comedy series that ran from 1972 to 1981. El Chapulín Colorado was the inspiration for Bumblebee Man on "The Simpsons" and I have to say, it was also a huge influence for creating the Chorizo Bandit character on my cómic "Nerdmigos." He was created by comedian Chespirito (Roberto Gómez Bolaños) who recently passed away, leaving an unforgetable body of work, funny characters and good times.  He will definitely be missed.

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Assumption

“When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.”
~ Oscar Wilde

Cheers!

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Alejandra Guzmán & Moderatto

FAIL.

El Negro Cósmico

Una de mis canciones favoritas de Caifanes.

Pearl Jam Fan Comic: Ed & Mike in “Touring Bus”

This was my submission for a Pearl Jam fan club (Ten Club) comic contest. The guidelines were pretty much open to do whatever you wanted, a concert experience, a story based on a song, or just make something up. So, I decided to do a Nerdmigos-style comic featuring a couple of the band members, based on a story that Eddie Vedder told at one of his solo concerts in San Diego, CA, back in 2008. It’s a funny story, and, also, I like reminding people that, the first time Pearl Jam played in Mexico, was at my hometown of Tijuana, on Mother’s Day 1992, at a mythical venue called Iguana’s. The original story had a friend of Ed’s named “Erick” (I think), but I changed that character to lead guitarist Mike McCready. Now, before the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service starts an investigation, everything in the story is true, except the last part where Pearl Jam hired and trained Javier as their bus driver. Ed made that up only because the story needed an ending. So, please lower your taser guns, I’m sure this guy is still driving a cab somewhere in Tijuana. Oh, and yeah, I was listening to Pearl Jam all week.

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Con este trabajo participé en un concurso de cómic para el club de fans de Pearl Jam (Ten Club). Las reglas fueron bastante abiertas para hacer lo que quisiera, una experiencia de concierto, una historia basada en una canción, o nada más inventar algo. Entonces, decidí hacer un cómic estilo Nerdmigos mostrando a un par de los miembros de la banda, basado en una historia que contó Eddie Vedder en uno de sus conciertos de solista en 2008 en San Diego, California. Es una historia chistosa, y, también, me gusta recordarle a la gente que, la primera vez que Pearl Jam tocó en México, fue en mi pueblo natal de Tijuana, el día de las madres en 1992, en un lugar mítico llamado Iguana's. La historia original tenía a un amigo de Ed llamado “Erick” (creo), pero cambié ese personaje por el guitarrista Mike McCready. Bueno, pero antes de que el Servicio de Inmigración y Naturalizción de Estados Unidos comience una investigación, toda la historia es verdad, excepto la última parte donde Pearl Jam contrató y entrenó a Javier como su conductor de autobús. Ed inventó esa parte solamente porque la historia necesitaba un final. Entonces, por favor bajen sus pistolas eléctricas, seguramente este amigo todavía está manejando un taxi en alguna parte en Tijuana. Oh, y sí, estuve escuchando a Pearl Jam toda la semana.

Army Day in Tijuana

Last week was National Army Day in México, and several Tijuana elementary schools celebrated by taking their students on a field trip to meet their Mexican action heroes stationed in the city for president Felipe Calderón’s brilliant “war on violence”… and also to get their little hands on their arsenal of drug-lord-butt-kicking-common-citizen-scaring weapons, vehicles, and accessories. This is so embarrassing. I’ll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

La semana pasada fue el Día Nacional del Ejército en México, y varias escuelas primarias de Tijuana celebraron llevando a sus estudiantes a una visita para conocer a sus héroes mexicanos que están en la ciudad para la ingeniosa “guerra contra la violencia” del presidente Felipe Calderón... y también para que sus manitas pudieran tocar el arsenal de armas, vehículos, y accesorios que usan contra los narcos y que asustan a los ciudadanos comunes. Qué vergüenza. Mejor voy a dejar que las fotos hablen por sí mismas.

Foto: Omar Martínez. Frontera.info

Foto: Omar Martínez. Frontera.info

Foto: Omar Martínez. Frontera.info

Televisa Has Resolved The Crisis In Haiti

From time to time the moment comes when I have the need to express my hatred for Televisa (for a long time, the only national television network in Mexico, and now one of two crappy national television networks in Mexico). Either because of their government-mediated news casting (or a government mediated by news casting, either way you want to see it), or because of their stupid-ass comedy shows, or because of their rehashed Cinderella-story soap operas. (By the way, they recently began broadcasting their programming in high definition. What they did not do was change their old-school TV production techniques. So, it did not occur to them that, in high definition, their bad makeup work would look even more atrocious, that their green screen visual effects would look even more shitty, and that the yellow teeth of some of their actors would look more yellow.) But, what I hate the most is when they take advantage the people’s ignorance, to evade taxes (which is the only reason why giving donations through private companies has become so fashionable in Mexico) through their Televisa Foundation. They’ve already done this before by using several causes as an excuse, but now, they are blatantly using the earthquake tragedy of this past January 12 in Haiti, the poorest country in the American continent, for their gain. In each commercial brake, they show TV spots where their actors ask people to donate money by means of their “Un Kilo de Ayuda” program in several stores throughout the country. Well, this is what I think: If you are in Mexico and you want to help Haiti? Then, donate directly to the Haitian Embassy in Mexico, or to UNICEF, or the International Red Cross, or many other earthquake relief organizations. But, don’t do it by making Televisa richer. Their TV production quality is not going to improve, anyway.

De vez en cuando llega el momento en el que tengo la necesidad de expresar mi odio por Televisa (durante mucho tiempo la única cadena nacional de televisión en México, y ahora una de dos cadenas nacionales de televisión chafas en México). Ya sea por sus noticieros mediados por el gobierno (o el gobierno mediado por los noticieros, como lo quieran ver), o por sus programas mamones de comedia, o por sus telenovelas con historias refritas de Cenicienta. (Por cierto, hace poco empezaron a transmitir su programación en alta definición. Lo que no cambiaron fueron sus técnicas viejas de producción. Entonces, no se le les ocurrió que, en alta definición, ahora su mal trabajo de maquillaje se vería todavía más atroz, que sus efectos visuales en pantalla verde se verían todavía más caguengues, y que los dientes amarillos de algunos de sus actores se verían todavía más amarillos.) Pero, lo que más odio es que se aprovechen de la ignorancia de la gente, para evadir impuestos (que es la única razón por la que se pusieron de moda las donaciones a través de empresas privadas en México) por medio de su Fundación Televisa. Ya lo han hecho antes usando como pretexto varias causas, pero ahora, descaradamente, están usando la tragedia del terremoto del pasado 12 de enero en Haití, el país más pobre del continente americano, para su beneficio. En cada corte comercial muestran anuncios en donde sus actores piden a la gente que done dinero por medio de su programa “Un kilo de ayuda” en varias tiendas del país. Bueno, esto es lo que yo pienso: ¿Están en México y quieren ayudar a Haití? Pues, donen directamente a la Embajada de Haití en México, o a la UNICEF, o a la Cruz Roja Internacional, o muchas otras organizaciones de apoyo por terremotos. Pero, no lo hagan haciendo más rica a Televisa. De todas maneras, su calidad de producción televisiva no va a mejorar.

Internet In Mexico: Expensive and Slow

This chart deserves to be reposted. This is another reason why I think Mexico is beyond saving. Internet access is so costly and slow compared to other countries around the world, and it's provided by only a couple of companies throughout the country. Actually, all communication in Mexico is ridiculously expensive, especially wireless communication. Even buying a fucking book will set you back a day’s salary. How can a Third World country, where people barely earn a living, be more expensive than First World countries? So embarrassing.

Source: reddit

Esta carta merece republicada. Ésta es otra razón por la que pienso que México ya no tiene salvación. El acceso de Internet es tan costoso y lento comparado a otros países alrededor del mundo, y el servicio lo ofrecen solamente un par de compañías en todo el país. De hecho, toda la comunicación en México tiene un costo ridículo, especialmente la comunicación inalámbrica. Incluso hasta para comprar un pinche libro se necesita gastar el salario de un día. ¿Cómo es posible que un país del tercer mundo, dónde la gente apenas se gana la vida, sea más costoso que los países del primer mundo? Qué pena.

Fuente: reddit

The People Who Stole Christmas

CHARLIE BROWN: “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel… I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.”

LINUS VAN PELT: “Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.”

Well, It’s Christmas Eve and I still don’t feel Christmassy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Grinch, I love Christmas, it’s my favorite time of the year. Being a Grinch is so year 2000. (Yeah, I said 2000 because that’s the year the Ron Howard film came out) (No, I don’t think people who call themselves “grinches” have ever seen the 1966 Chuck Jones animated short, much less read the 1957 children’s book ‘Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas’). But, this has never happened to me. I believe it was the selfish materialistic consumer people who ruined it for me this year. They just sucked all the fun out of it. What ever happened to giving and not expecting something in return, or, receiving something and just being grateful?

But also, being depressed on Christmas time is so passé. So, fuck it! If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Time to eat and drink all night like a good ol’ Mexican!

Maybe the next generation will take back Christmas. I hope. So, I dedicate this little bit of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” to my nephews. This is an example of what a letter to Santa Claus should NOT be like:

SALLY: “I've been looking for you, big brother. Will you please write a letter to Santa Claus for me?”

CHARLIE BROWN: “Well, I don't have much time. I'm supposed to get down to the school auditorium to direct a Christmas play.”

SALLY: “You write it and I'll tell you what I want to say.”

CHARLIE BROWN: “Okay, shoot.”

SALLY: “Dear Santa Claus, How have you been? Did you have a nice summer? … How is your wife? I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want.”

CHARLIE BROWN: “Oh brother.”

SALLY: “Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?”

CHARLIE BROWN: “TENS AND TWENTIES? Oh, even my baby sister!”

SALLY: “All I want is what I... I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.”

Merry Christmas!

Revolution?

Foto: La Jornada

Okay, so, today we celebrate the anniversary of the Mexican Revolution, which started in 1910 and lasted about a decade. There’s not much left to celebrate these days though. The Mexican Constitution of 1917, produced by the revolution’s representatives (a socialist constitution, but, shhh, don’t tell anyone), has been shit on to this very day in the Wacky World of Mexican Politics. The established order that the revolutionaries fought against never really disappeared, it has just been changing faces over the years. All of this should inspire the Mexican people to revolt again, or at least be inspired towards change and progress, but no. It seems that the only thing that this day inspires is having an extra day off from work. For some stupid reason, the Mexican Revolution official day off was changed from Friday, November 20 to Monday, November 16. But then, Mexican legislators proposed that we should have the 16 AND the 20 off from work. Yeah, the country is struggling to survive in every aspect, but the Mexican people want too skip work and party. Why would we want an extra day off, anyway? We don’t have any money to spend. Fortunately, The Senate rejected the proposal and Mexicans had the day off on Monday the 16th… and half-ass worked on Friday the 20th.

Bueno, pues, hoy celebramos el aniversario de la revolución mexicana, que comenzó en 1910 y duró como una década. Sin embargo, no queda mucho para celebrar actualmente. Hasta la fecha, en el mundo chistosito de la política mexicana, se han cagado en la constitución mexicana de 1917, producida por los representantes de la revolución (una constitución socialista, pero, shhh, no le digan a nadie). La orden establecida que los revolucionarios combatieron realmente nunca desapareció, sólo ha cambiado de caras durante los años. Todo esto debería inspirar a la gente mexicana a rebelarse otra vez, o por lo menos ser inspirada hacia el cambio y el progreso, pero no. Parece que la única cosa que este día inspira es tener un día libre del trabajo adicional. Por alguna estúpida razón, el día libre oficial de la revolución mexicana fue cambiado del viernes 20 de noviembre al lunes 16 de noviembre. Pero después, los legisladores mexicanos propusieron que tuviéramos el 16 Y el 20 para descansar del trabajo. Así es, el país está luchando para sobrevivir en todos los aspectos, pero la gente mexicana no quiere ir a trabajar e irse de fiesta. Además, a todo esto, ¿por qué querríamos un día libre adicional? No tenemos dinero para gastar. Afortunadamente, el senado rechazó la propuesta y los mexicanos descansaron el lunes 16… y trabajaron con güeva el viernes 20.

First Pamplonpendejada in Tijuana

On August 9 and 23, the ‘pamplonadas’ will be held in Tijuana for the first time (by the way, they are not called “pamplonadas,” they are called “sanfermines,” but try arguing with the Spanish-wannabes of Mexico). Originally (with emphasis on “original”), this festival in honor of Saint Fermin is celebrated every year in Pamplona, Spain. But now, it turns out that the people of Tijuana, who, by the way, don’t give a shit about this Saint Fermin guy, have the need to make their own version of the Spanish traditional celebration with a crappy Region 4 copy. It is like those original songs that are later ruined by lame cumbia covers. Let’s admit it, we Mexicans are not very good at copying. Perhaps we have managed to “adapt” a few things, but not copy them. Why does Mexican society have the need to copy things from other countries, be it TV programs, festivals, or urban planning? What happened to that Mexican ingenuity to come up with original things? Why not make a new Mexican celebration? Seriously, this to me is no different than going out trick-or-treating in Mexico. Now, I do not have anything against celebrations, on the contrary, I like parties; it’s also not about being against the brutal mistreatment of animals in bullfights (which I am against, but I won’t get in to that right now); but, I do have to say that the most famous activity of the Saint Fermin Festival, called the “encierro” (the running of the bulls), which consists of a herd of dudes running in front of 6 bulls and 8 oxen during 2-3 minutes from the corrals to the Pamplona bullring, is one of the stupidest traditions that human beings have come up with in all History. Not to mention dangerous: at least 15 poor idiots have died in this activity, the most recent one less than a month ago. Although, I sincerely can't imagine something so dramatic happening in the Tijuana version (the running of the bulls activity is going to take place in a parking lot, hahaha, with old and slow bulls). But, well, anyway, my best wishes to the participants and I hope that nobody gets a bull horn up their ass. Later.

El 9 y 23 de agosto se van a llevar a cabo las pamplonadas por primera vez en Tijuana (por cierto, no se llaman “pamplonadas”, se llaman “sanfermines”, pero aléguenle a los wannabe españoles de México). Originalmente (con énfasis en lo “original”), estas fiestas en honor a San Fermín se celebran cada año en Pamplona, España. Pero ahora resulta que la gente de Tijuana, a quién por cierto le vale pito ese tal San Fermín, tiene la necesidad de hacer su propia versión de la fiesta tradicional española con una copia chafa Región 4. Es como esas canciones originales que después son arruinadas por ‘covers’ nacos de cumbia. Admitámoslo, los mexicanos no somos muy buenos para copiar. Quizás hemos logrado “adaptar” algunas cosas, pero copiar no. ¿Por qué la sociedad mexicana tiene la necesidad de copiar cosas de otros países, ya sea programas de televisión, festivales, o planeación urbana? ¿Qué pasó con el ingenio mexicano para sacar cosas originales? ¿Por qué no hacer una nueva fiesta mexicana? En serio, esto no se me hace muy diferente que salir a pedir triqui-triqui en México. Ahora, no tengo nada en contra de las celebraciones, al contrario, me gustan las fiestas; tampoco se trata de que esté en contra del brutal maltrato a los animales en las corridas de toros (que lo estoy, pero no me voy a meter en eso ahorita); pero, sí tengo que decir que la actividad más famosa de las fiestas sanfermines, llamada “el encierro”, que consiste en una manada de gueyes corriendo en frente de 6 toros y 8 bueyes durante 2-3 minutos desde los corralillos hasta la plaza de toros de Pamplona, es una de las tradiciones más estúpidas que se le han ocurrido al ser humano en toda la Historia. Aparte de peligrosa: por lo menos 15 pobres idiotas se han muerto en esta actividad, el más reciente hace menos de un mes. Aunque, sinceramente no me imagino que suceda algo tan dramático en la versión tijuanense (la actividad del encierro se va a llevar a cabo en un estacionamiento, jajaja, con toros viejos y lentos). Pero, bueno, de todas maneras, mis mejores deseos para los participantes y espero que a nadie le metan un cuerno de toro por el culo. Al rato.

Magical Mexico: Parkita & Espectrito Killed by Hookers

This is the best note I read yesterday:

Mexican Midget Wrestlers Poisoned by Prostitutes.

Awesome!

Wrestling, midgets, sex, murder, hookers, political intrigue…

When is the movie coming out?

Or the Musical.

Pornográfico Encuentro de Católicos en Playas de Tijuana

Awesome!

Photo by IAMO.

¡Lucharán!

In light of the recent hoopla surrounding debates about what the US Senate should do about border security and illegal immigrants, and if employers who hire them should be penalized, I found an article at TheOnion.com titled "WWE: Illegal Mexican Wrestlers Taking Smakdowns American Wrestlers Don't Want" that I thought was funny.

Feel free to read it.

Cool pics there too.

This just shows a different aspect of an issue that is usually associated only to "fruit-picking" work on agriculture fields.

-Isma.